Her Loyalty is to Allah First

[Umm Muhammad]

One of the results of the Muslim woman's  pride in her Islamic
identity is that she will never be loyal to anything or  anyone other
than Allah (SWT), not even her husband or her father, who are  among
the closest people to her. We see the epitome of this  loyalty
(wala') in the life of the Prophet's wife Umm Habibah (May Allah  be
pleased with her), Ramlah bint Abi Sufyan, the chief of Makkah  and
leader of the mushrikin. She was married to the Prophet's cousin
(son  of his paternal aunt) `Ubaydullah ibn Jahsh al-Asadi, the
brother of the  Prophet's wife Zaynab. Her husband `Ubaydullah
embraced Islam, and she  entered Islam with him, whilst her father
Abu Sufyan was still a kafir. She  and her husband migrated to
Abyssinia with the first Muslims who went there,  and left her father
in Makkah, boiling with rage because his daughter had  embraced Islam
and there was no way he could get at her.

But the life  of this patient Muslim woman was not free from
problems. Sadly, her husband  `Ubaydullah left Islam and became a
Christian, joining the religion of the  Abyssinians. He tried to make
her join him in his apostasy, but she refused  and remained steadfast
in her faith. She had given birth to her daughter  Habibah, and was
now known as Umm Habibah. She withdraw from people, and felt  as if
she would die of grief and sorrow because of all the disasters  that
had befallen her. She and her daughter were alone in a strange  land,
and all the ties between her and her father and husband had  been
cut. The father of her small daughter was now a Christian, and  the
child's grandfather at that time was a mushrik and an enemy of  Islam
who had declared all-out war on the Prophet in whom she believed  and
the religion that she followed.

Nothing could save her from this  distress and grief except the care
of the Prophet (PBUH), who was losing  sleep over the believers who
had migrated, concerned for their welfare and  checking on them. He
sent word to the Negus to request him to arrange his  marriage to Umm
Habibah, the daughter of Abu Sufyan, one of the immigrants to  his
country, as is explained in the books of sirah and history. Thus  Umm
Habibah, the daughter of Abu Sufyan, became one of the "Mothers of
the  Believers."

Time passed, and as the conquest of Makkah drew closer, the  threat
to Quraysh, who had broken the treaty of al-Hudaybiyah, became  ever
more apparent. Their leaders met and realized that Muhammad  (PBUH)
would never keep quiet about their betrayal or accept  the
humiliation they had inflicted on him. So they agreed to send  and
envoy to Madinah, to negotiate a renewal and extension of the  treaty
with Muhammad (PBUH). The man chosen for this task was Abu  Sufyan
ibn Harb.

Abu Sufyan came to Madinah, and was nervous about  meeting Muhammad
(PBUH). Then he remembered that he had a daughter in the  Prophet's
household, so he sneaked into her house and asked her to help  him
achieve what he had come for.

Umm Habibah (May Allah be pleased  with her) was surprised to see him
in her house, as she had not seen him  since she had left for
Abyssinia. She stood up, filled with confusion, not  knowing what to
do or say.

Abu Sufyan realised that his daughter was  overwhelmed with the shock
of his sudden arrival, so he asked for her  permission to sit down,
and went over to sit on the bed. He was stunned when  his daughter
Ramlah rushed to grab the mattress and roll it up. He said, "O  my
daughter, I do not understand. Is this mattress not good enough for
me  or am I not good enough for it?" She said, "It belongs to the
Messenger of  Allah (PBUH), and you are a mushrik, so I do not want
you to sit on  it."

Ramlah bint Abi Sufyan affirmed her loyalty (wala') to Allah  (SWT).
She had no regrets about her worthless husband, who had sold  his
religion for this world. She remained steadfast in her faith,
bearing  the pain of grief and loneliness in a strange land, where
she was most in  need of a husband to protect her and take care of
her daughter. Allah (SWT),  the Munificent Bestower, compensated her
with the best that any woman could  have hoped for at that time, and
made her the wife of the Prophet (PBUH), and  so her status was
raised to that of one of the "Mothers of the  Believers."

The shock of seeing her father so suddenly after many years  did not
make her forget her loyalty to Allah (SWT) and His Messenger  (PBUH).
She pulled the Prophet's mattress away from her father because  he
was a kafir, and she did not want to let him contaminate it by
sitting  on it. This is the attitude of a Muslim woman who is proud
of her religion:  her soul is filled with faith and there is no room
for tribalism or loyalty  to any other than Allah (SWT) and His
religion.

Throughout history,  Muslim women's pride in their Islamic identity
gave them the strength and  determination to resist temptations and
threats, and protected them from  being overwhelmed by the forces of
kufr and falsehood, no matter how powerful  these were. The Muslim
women's souls were filled with the unquenchable fire  of faith, as we
see in the steadfastness of Pharaoh's wife, who challenged  the
entire Pharaonic world with all its temptations and pleasures,
caring  little about the punishments heaped upon her by her husband
because of her  faith, and repeating her prayer:

( O my Lord! Build for me, in nearness  to You, a mansion in the
Garden, and save me from Pharaoh and his doings, and  save me from
those that do wrong.) (Qur'an 66:11)

Seeking the pleasure  of Allah and striving to make His word supreme
on earth come above any other  goals or ambitions. The true Muslim
woman never forgets this truth, and as  time passes her pride in her
Islamic identity, her devotion to this unique,  divinely-ordained way
of life, and her loyalty to Allah (SWT) go from  strength to
strength.