Nuances of Marriage (Nikah) In Islam

[Bilal Mahmud المكافح المخلص]

Nuances of Marriage (Nikah)  In Islam

 

A Muslim couple relaxes in the evening

The original mean of the word nikah is the physical relationship between man and woman.  It is also used secondarily to refer to the contract of marriage which makes that relationship lawful.  Which of the meanings is intended can be determined by the context in which it is used. 

 

As for the definition of marriage in fiqh, the simple definition would go something like this: 

“A contract that results in the two parties physically enjoying each other in the manner allowed by the Sharia.”

 

Sheikh Muhammad Zahrah defines marriage as such:

“A contract that results in the man and woman living with each other and supporting each other within the limits of what has been laid down for them in terms of right and obligations.”

 

Sheikh  Ibn Uthaimeen takes an even more comprehensive view of the institution of marriage in his definition of it as: 

“It is a mutual contract between a man and a woman whose goal is for each to enjoy the other, become a pious family and a sound society.”

 

The Purpose and Goals of Marriage

Like anything a Muslim does, marriage would only be undertaken after gain an understanding of all that Allah has prescribed in  terms of right and obligations as well as gain an undestandiof the wisdom behind this institution.  Nearly all peoples and all societies practice marriage in some form, just as they practice business (buying and selling)   Umar ibn Al-Khattab used to expel people from the marketplace in Madina who were not knowledgeable of the fiqh of buying and selling.  Likewise, a Muslim should not engage in something as important as marriage without having understanding of the purpose of marriage in Islam as well as a comprehensive understanding of the rights and obligations which it brings about. 

 

One of the principles of Islamic Jurisprudence says that :

“The default state of all things is lawfulness until some definitive evidence shows otherwise.”  Based on this, if new foods are discovered, they are considered lawful, unless there is some specific reason or attribute which would make it forbidden for example if it causes intoxication.  Relations between men and women do not follow this general principle and in fact are opposite to it.  The principle is that:  “Relations between men and women are forbidden until some definitive evidence shows otherwise.” 

 

Procreation (Children)

One of the most important purposes of marriage is to continue and increase the population of the Muslim.  Clearly, this goal could be achieved without marriage, but when actions are undertaken in disobedience to Allah,  they do not receive the blessing of Allah and the whole society is corrupted. 

 

It should be stressed that the goal is not simply to produce any child that will live in the next generation.  It is to produce a righteous children who will be obedient to Allah and who will be a source of reward for their parents after they die. 

 

Responsibility of Children

Sheikh Muhammad Salim Abd Al Wadud:  The responsibility of the biological father and mother of the child does not change because the parents get divorced.  Their responsibilities towards the child remains the same. 

The step father or step mother does not have explicit financial responsibility towards the child unless it is agreed upon before hand.  Even though they should be kind and generous to them as Muslim children. 

 

Duties of the Husband to the wife

The husband is obligated to furnish the wife with

• Necessary clothing
• Something to sit on and something to sleep on.
• A place to bath and keep  herself clean.
• Medicine when she is sick
• Utensils to eat and during with and also to prepare food with. 
• A place to live.  A wife must have the enjoyment of the premises she occupies; but her husband need not transfer the ownership to her. 

 

Imam Shafii:  During his stay in Egypt Imam Shafii adopted the doctrine that a wife’s maintenance is obligatory only if she puts herself at husband’s disposal, and not in virtue of the contract of marriage.  The husband as a presumption in favor of his assertions in any proceedings as to the putting of the wife at his disposal.  Consequently, a husband owes his wife no maintenance so long as she refuses to come to him; but owes it from the moment he hears she is willing to put herself at his disposal. 

 

A right to maintenance ceases if the wife is rebellious to the marital authority; even if it be merely husband’s touch which she refuses to permit without valid excuse. 

 

A journey undertaken with the husband’s consent, either to accompany him, or in his interest, does not in any way interrupt his obligation to maintain his wife.  Only when the journey is undertaken in the particular and exclusive interest of the wife is she unable to claim maintenance during her absence. 

If a wife leaves husband’s home without his permission or refuses to reside in a house which fits her status, she shall be considered ‘disobedient’ and shall not be entitled to maintenance according to all the schools.  The Shafii and the Hanbali schools further add:  If she goes out with his permission for his need she shall be entitled to maintenance, and if she goes out not for his need, her maintenance shall cease even if he had granted her permission to do so. 

 

There should always be mutual respect and cooperation in the family that all parties may benefit. 

 

“Piety is the basis of choosing the life partner. Many are the statements of the Qur’an and the Sunnah that prescribe kindness and equity, compassion and love, sympathy and consideration, patience and good will. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, says, “The best Muslim is the one who is best to his family.” Also, he says, “… and the most blessed joy in life is a good, righteous wife.” (Reported by At-Tirmidhi)

The role of the husband evolves around the moral principle that it is his solemn duty to Allah to treat his wife with kindness, honor, and patience; to keep her honorably or free her from the marital bond honorably; and to cause her no harm or grief. Allah Almighty says: “…consort with them in kindness, for if you hate them it may happen that you hate a thing wherein Allah has placed much good.” (An-Nisa’: 19)

The role of the wife is summarized in the verse that women have rights even as they have duties, according to what is equitable; but men have a degree over them. Allah Almighty says, “And they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them in kindness, and men are a degree above them. Allah is Mighty, Wise.” (Al-Baqaraqh: 228)

This degree is usually interpreted by Muslim scholars in conjunction with another passage which states, among other things, that men are trustees, guardians, and protectors of women because Allah has made some of them excel others and because men expend of their means. Allah Almighty says: “Men are in charge of women, because Allah has made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah has guarded. As for those from whom you fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High Exalted, Great.” (An-Nisa’: 34)

 

Because the Qur’an and the Sunnah of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, have commanded kindness to women, it is the husband’s duty to:

1- Consort with his wife in an equitable and kind manner. Allah Almighty says, “… and consort with them in kindness.” (An-Nisa’: 19)

2- Have responsibility for the full maintenance of the wife, a duty which he must discharge cheerfully, without reproach, injury, or condescendence. Allah Almighty says: “Let him who has abundance spend of his abundance, and he whose provision is measured, let him spend of that which Allah has given him. Allah asks naught of any soul save that which He has given it. Allah will vouchsafe, after hardship, ease.‏” (At-Talaq: 7)

Components of Maintenance:

Maintenance entails the wife’s incontestable right to lodging, clothing, nourishing, and general care and well-being.

1-The wife’s residence must be adequate so as to provide her with the reasonable level of privacy, comfort, and independence. The welfare of the wife and the stability of the marriage should be the ultimate goal.

2-What is true of the residence is true of clothing, food, and general care. The wife has the right to be clothed, fed, and cared for by the husband, in accordance with his means and her style of life. These rights are to be exercised without extravagance or miserliness.

Non-Material Rights:

A husband is commanded by the law of God to:

1- Treat his wife with equity.

2- Respect her feelings, and to show her kindness and consideration.

3- Not to show his wife any aversion or to subject her to suspense or uncertainty.

4- Not to keep his wife with the intention of inflicting harm on her or hindering her freedom.

5- Let her demand freedom from the marital bond, if he has no love or sympathy for her.

The Wife’s Obligations; The Husband’s Rights:

The main obligation of the wife as a partner in a marital relationship is to contribute to the success and blissfulness of the marriage as much as possible. She must be attentive to the comfort and well-being of her mate. She may neither offend him nor hurt his feelings. Perhaps nothing can illustrate the point better than the Qur’anic statement which describes the righteous people as those who pray saying: “Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the joy and the comfort of our eyes, and guide us to be models of righteousness.” (Al-Furqan: 74)

This is the basis on which all the wife’s obligations rest and from which they flow. To fulfill this basic obligation:

1- The wife must be faithful, trustworthy, and honest.

2- She must not deceive her mate by deliberately avoiding conception lest it deprive him of legitimate progeny.

3- She must not allow any other person to have access to that which is exclusively the husband’s right, i.e. sexual intimacy.

4-She must not receive anyone in his home whom the husband does not like.

5-She may not accept their gifts without his approval. This is probably meant to avoid jealousy, suspicion, gossip, etc., and also to maintain the integrity of all parties concerned.

6- The husband’s possessions are her trust. If she has access to any portion thereof, or if she is entrusted with any fund, she must discharge her duty wisely and thriftily. She may not lend or dispose of any of his belongings without his permission.

7- With respect to intimacy, the wife is to make herself desirable; to be attractive, responsive, and cooperative.

8- A wife may not deny herself to her husband, for the Qur’an speaks of them as a comfort to each other. Due consideration is, of course, given to health and decency.

9- Moreover, the wife is not permitted to do anything that may render her companionship less desirable or less gratifying. If she neglects herself, the husband has the right to interfere with her freedom to rectify the situation and insure maximum self-fulfillment for both partners. She is not permitted to do anything on his part that may impede her gratification.”

 

 

And Allah knows Best….

 

 

 

 

 

[Umm Muhammad]

Excellent info and reminder.JazakAllah kyran.